I’m way too tired (lazy) to write proper paragraphs and such, so here’s a list of things that I’ve learned since Sonja and I got our house:
1. Home Depot is my new favourite store. I don’t have an opinion on Bed Bath and Beyond, though. There hasn’t been enough time.
2. EQ3 makes nice looking, non-IKEA furniture. Unfortunately, they can’t seem to ship anything from their manufacting plant in Winnipeg without it getting damaged. So far, Sonja and I are 0-2 (one damaged bed, one damaged dresser). Also, the movers they use are somehow smaller/weaker than I am. It would have been hilarious watching them try to get the dresser all the way up the stairs… you know, if it wasn’t my dresser. and my stairs/house. So don’t buy anything big at EQ3.
3. I don’t know how we ever lived without a dishwasher.
4. Raking leaves is sort of fun when you’re not doing it for your parents for slave labour wages.
5. Had I killed the mouse in our basement with a flicked bottle cap (I missed by about 2 inches), it probably would have been one of the top 5 moments of my life.
6. I need to buy a clock radio. Waking up to the alarm on my cellphone has lowered my quality of life by about 5 notches.
7. Unpacking the last few boxes is @!$#ing impossible. They’re all filled with crap we don’t really need and don’t have a place for, but can’t seem to throw away.
8. Chocolate-brown couches are very popular.
9. There’s no point in taping edges before you paint if the people before you didn’t bother to tape the edges before they painted.
10. With my stereo still not set up (I’m looking for a stereo cabinet that only seems to exist in my mind), we’ve been listening to the radio while we work on the house, and much to my surprise, Live 88.5 isn’t that bad. I can’t believe there’s finally a decent station in Ottawa that plays BSS, Bloc Party, the Talking Heads and pretty much every other band I like that I never thought I’d hear in Ottawa.
11. Free televisions are awesome.
12. Free televisions that weigh a deceivingly large amount and have to be placed on the second floor of a house with a narrow staircase are not quite as awesome. I’m pretty sure that the first few versions of Sony’s flat screen television (not flat panel, flat screen – big difference) were made of cement, bricks, weightlifting weights and spare truck parts. Seriously, when that television breaks, there’s no way it’s being carried back down the stairs – I’m just going to throw it out the window.
Last 5 songs: girl o’clock – the dismemberment plan; organ donor (extended overhaul) – dj shadow; little sin – the toadies; return of the b-boy – mr. lif; the fake headlines – the new pornographers







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To add to my excitement for the upcoming nuptuals…Miss Lasagna asked me to be a bridesmaid! I’m thrilled! It would have been an absolute blast to just be there as a guest, but now I get to take part! Plus, it gives me a phenomenal excuse to drop the baby weight by next summer. Excellent. I needed the motivation. And standing in front of such a big, posh crowd certainly motivates one into action.
And to sweeten the deal that much more, Sonja’s sister, Jessica Lasagna – Maid of Honour Extraordinaire, was just hired on in my office. Not only is that super fun, but it also gives us TONS of face time to scheme on the bride and groom’s behalf. All innocent scheming of course. Nothing embarrassing. Or mean. Not us. Never.
Jessie - Things I’ve Learned in the First Two Weeks of Living Without my Sister: A Loving Tribute
1) There really is a lot more room in the front hall for shoes. The reserve shoe collection has been brought out of storage and is now on display in its full,unadulterated glory.
2) Two cats says: “Cat Lover”, three cats says: “Cat Lady” – it’s a fine line, people, a fine line.
3) Making lattes in the morning is a lot more impressive when someone else is around to appreciate them.
4) Getting your ass out of bed in the morning is a lot easier when someone jumps on you and sings the CBC theme song at top volume in your ear. (Mark, are you SURE you need an alarm clock?)
5) It’s sort of an interesting feeling to look forward to staying at your sister and future-brother-in-law’s home mostly for the fact that you will at last be among the privileged few who have slept under the watchful eyes of Tom Selleck.
Congrats guys! When’s the housewarming party?
mark - not sure yet.
the Selleck poster is currently at the poster shop being mounted and laminated by a very meticulous lebanese man who didn’t seem to have any idea who tom selleck is. his loss.
so far, Muppet seems sort of bored and lonely in her new house. I guess the adrenaline rush of constantly getting your ass kicked is something you come to miss after a while.
Kristin - Congrats, guys! I’ve been wondering how it’s going. I hear it’s beautiful…post pics!
Gary - Mark, you fool! You don’t unpack those last few boxes. Those are the boxes that go in the basement and sit there for a few years before you decide to do a “spring cleaning”, see them, and decide it’s time to throw out all of the contents because you obviously don’t need or use them.
Shannen - I so second that, Gary. And it’s precisely what we did. Unfortunately, it’s more than just a few boxes.
Apparently we keep lots of crap.