I don’t know where to start. I have so much to say and yet I feel like I can’t find the right words.
You are one today. The number is so small, tiny in fact, but it stirs up an enormous amount of emotions. How can it be that a whole year has already passed since I first held you in my arms?
I think when you have your second child you remember things differently than the first time around. You pay more attention. You breath in the sweet smell of your newborn’s head because you know all too well how fast it goes away. You study every little detail because so many are forgotten over time, even though it seems hard to believe in the moment.
I have spent a year memorizing you. I know every dimple and where every hair falls on your head. I know what will make you belly laugh and what makes you angry. I know that your whole face lights up when your sister enters the room, and that you don’t understand why she leaves on the big yellow bus every day and doesn’t take you with her.
You are very affectionate and snuggly. You hug with reckless abandon.
You love being outside. More than anything. Even when you were tiny and fussy, a quick step outside would calm you. And now that the warm temperatures have found us, you want nothing to do with being inside. If you are awake, you are making your way to one of the windows where you stand and point and grunt. You want out, and you want us to know. You are just little, but you know what you like.
You have a big personality, my little one. You are brave and lovely and sweet and strong. You are exactly what I wished and waited for. I cherish this baby time with you because it is so fleeting. Before I know it you’ll be borrowing the car keys and going to prom. Let’s slow down a little…ok?
Happy, happy birthday to you. I love you, my beautiful boy