I like pickles more than the average bloke. Relish (a pickle derivative) is one of my favourite condiments, and a nice garlic dill is a perfect pre-dinner snack. But even I find the claims on the Kraft-run website pickles.com somewhat dubious.
Under the section “pickles are fun!”, we arrive at the claim “Pickles can be used to show you care.” Is this a generally accepted pickle quality, or is this a blatant ploy by marketing to substitute pickles for greeting cards and flowers? Would you buy a pickle to show you care? Come now, Kraft.
This is calling into question Kraft’s sincerity in other marketing endeavours. If they’re so quick to make ridiculous claims about pickles, can we really believe them when they say “Good to the last drop,” or “It’s the cheeziest!” Is it really the cheeziest? Have they done the research? What if the last few drops are the cruddy ones? The coffee’s usually cold by then, so it’s kind of icky. Shouldn’t they tell the truth?
I invite you to discuss in the comments what other ridiculous things pickles are good for. I’ll forward the best few to Kraft’s marketing department for their next pickles.com website update. Don’t think I won’t!
Shannen - Mmmmmmmmmm…pickles.
You’d think the whole ‘pickles and ice cream’ phenomenon was an old wives tale and blown completely out of proportion, but I’m here to tell you that you’d be wrong. I crave pickles. I crave ice cream…though never together.
And Dan, at this point, pickles might actually be a good substitute for a card and/or flowers. Give it a try. Use pickles to show me you care. Or ice cream…but not both.
Ben - When I was a kid I never liked pickles, the warts threw me off, until I discovered the Yum-Yum. Sweeter than their stick-shaped counterparts, the Yum-Yums are a particular breed. Sliced into disks, they are a refreshing way to enjoy the always-popular cucumber. Lay them out on top of a burger, pile them up beside a pork chop, decorate your plate with a pair of pickle eyes, or fling them across the room like the flying sausers they resemble, the Yum-Yum does it all. Is there any other way into your lover’s heart?
Liz - I hate pickles. There are certain food items (actually I can think of more than a few) that I would happily accept in replace of a greeting card. But pickles aren’t one of them.