Sonja and I\u00a0had the pleasure of attending\u00a0the Senators game at Scotiabank Place on Monday night (“Scotiabank Place” is probably the most bland, uninspiring name for a sports arena ever, so from here on in, I’ll refer to it as “the Vault” to fool you into thinking that Ottawa is hipper than it is).\u00a0 A good time was had by all – the good guys won, McGratton (!) scored, and the Sens got 6 goals, giving everybody in the building a free slice of cardboard<\/strike> Pizza Pizza.\u00a0 Not bad, not bad.\u00a0 Surely there’s nothing rant-worthy about such a successful evening, right?\u00a0<\/p>\n
WRONG!<\/p>\n
The parking\u00a0lot situation at the Vault (see how much cooler that is?) is the most excrutiating, frustrating experience one can endure in this city.\u00a0 The massive parking lots have (at most) two exits, and no defined rows or attendants to direct the flow of traffic, so everybody just drives straight for the exits making it impossible for anybody to get out – it’s like trying to squeeze a cat through a keyhole (or something along those lines – you get the idea).<\/p>\n
Now you might be saying, “But mark, that’s what happens when you have 18000 cars trying to exit a lot all at once.\u00a0 Get your head out of your ass!”<\/p>\n
Not true, friends.\u00a0 I’ve had the pleasure, on numerous occasions, of attending baseball games at Safeco field in Seattle.\u00a0 Not only do they get a lot of walk-up traffic because that stadium isn’t in the middle of absolutely nowhere (that’s a rant for another time), but they also have the most well-organized, well-designed parking lot and exiting-strategy I’ve ever seen.\u00a0 The whole parking lot is empty in 15 minutes, thanks to plenty of exits, well-timed traffic lights, and police officers with those glow-stick things directing everybody where they have to go.\u00a0 15 minutes.\u00a0 incredible.<\/p>\n
Now, maybe there have been vast improvements in strategic parking lot design in the few years between the building of the\u00a0Vault and Safeco field, but I doubt it.\u00a0 The Vault was built in the middle of nowhere, giving them a clean slate to design whatever parking lot system they wanted, and they somehow managed to do the worst job possible.\u00a0 Was an urban planner even involved in the plans?\u00a0 Common sense would say “yes, of course”… the results, sadly, say “hell no”.<\/p>\n
“take the bus!\u00a0 you’ll skip the whole ordeal!”<\/p>\n
Not so.\u00a0 Of course, if the planners of this catastophe had been smart (they weren’t), they’d have given the busses their own exit onto the Queensway and their own lanes\u00a0from the Vault back into the city so people would be more motivated to take the bus (faster + enviro friendliness).\u00a0 Unfortunately, the busses use the same exits as the cars, and the bus-only lanes don’t start until\u00a0somewhere\u00a0after Kanata, so the bus is even worse – instead of sitting in the comfort of your own car listening to your own music while you don’t move, the bus offers the chance to sit beside some stoned\/drunk teenagers making out with each other while you don’t move.\u00a0 Serenity now!<\/p>\n
The whole situation is ridiculous, and if anybody reading this was involved in the design of the Vault’s parking system, you suck at your job, and you’re probably\u00a0a jerk.<\/p>\n
Last 5 songs heard on my iPod:\u00a0 \u201cSympathy for the Devil\u201d – Rolling Stones, “She Moves She” – Four Tet, \u201cThe Other Side\u201d – Dismemberment Plan, \u201cHelicopter\u201d – Bloc Party,\u00a0\u201cOrange Car Crash\u201d – As The Poets Affirm<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sonja and I\u00a0had the pleasure of attending\u00a0the Senators game at Scotiabank Place on Monday night (“Scotiabank Place” is probably the most bland, uninspiring name for a sports arena ever, so from here on in, I’ll refer to it as “the Vault” to fool you into thinking that Ottawa is hipper than it is).\u00a0 A good […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[41,46],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}