{"id":381,"date":"2006-09-08T12:38:50","date_gmt":"2006-09-08T17:38:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.forgetful.ca\/?p=335"},"modified":"2006-09-08T12:38:50","modified_gmt":"2006-09-08T17:38:50","slug":"oafe-award-chocolate-milk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/?p=381","title":{"rendered":"OAFE award: chocolate milk"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was recently looking through the few columns I\u2019ve posted, and noticed something disturbing.\u00a0 25% of my column output to this point has been (at least moderately) in praise of reality television.\u00a0 Sure, I call it a guilty pleasure, openly admit that I\u2019m ashamed of myself for watching, and I make fun of it wherever I can.\u00a0 However, not only have I been watching this crap, but I\u2019ve also been taking the time to write about it which, to some degree, promotes it.\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty awful.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like these shows, and I don\u2019t want them to succeed.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, to change things up, I\u2019m going to write about something that I do want to succeed, that I\u2019m proud to love, and without a word of hyperbole is probably the greatest invention of all time:\u00a0 chocolate milk.<\/p>\n<p>Growing up, I never had chocolate milk.\u00a0 My parents were too concerned about trivial matters like \u201chealthy eating\u201d and \u201ccavity-free check-ups\u201d.\u00a0 In retrospect, it was probably a good idea &#8211; if a supply of chocolate milk had existed in our house, it would have been consumed at every opportunity, including on cereal, Calvin and Hobbes-style.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>However, now that I\u2019m an adult (more-or-less), I can (and do) consume chocolate milk at every opportunity, and I can never seem to have enough of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m addicted, my desire fuelled by 18 years of chocolate milk scarcity.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that normal homo milk is bad, it\u2019s just a bit too\u2026 gay.<\/p>\n<p>(sorry, I couldn\u2019t resist)<\/p>\n<p>The weird thing is, I don\u2019t even really like chocolate.\u00a0 Most peculiar.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, while performing research for this column (research being synonymous for \u201cchecking to see if there\u2019s a \u2018chocolate milk\u2019 entry on wikipedia\u201d \u2013 there is), I learned a few interesting things about my favourite drink:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div>Having a good ratio of protein and carbohydrates, it\u2019s a good thing to drink after sports.\u00a0 This ratio also makes it a good hangover cure.\u00a0 So basically, it goes well with sports and beer \u2013 sorry dogs, man has a new best friend.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Despite containing a lot of calcium, you don\u2019t get much calcium from drinking chocolate milk because the calcium reacts with oxalic acid, creating a salt that can\u2019t be metabolized.\u00a0 I guess this isn\u2019t really a good thing, but who needs calcium, anyway?\u00a0 Osteoporosis is an old wives tale.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Fascinating.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m so enamored with chocolate milk and it\u2019s abilities to make a crappy day at work slightly less crappy, I\u2019m going to award an OAFE award to chocolate milk.\u00a0 The recognition is long overdue.<\/p>\n<p>last 5 songs: &#8220;come back&#8221; &#8211; pearl jam; &#8220;memorial day&#8221; &#8211; perceptionists; &#8220;cowboys&#8221; &#8211; portishead; &#8220;maps (YYYs cover)&#8221; &#8211; the arcade fire; &#8220;sodom, south georgia&#8221; &#8211; iron &amp; wine<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was recently looking through the few columns I\u2019ve posted, and noticed something disturbing.\u00a0 25% of my column output to this point has been (at least moderately) in praise of reality television.\u00a0 Sure, I call it a guilty pleasure, openly admit that I\u2019m ashamed of myself for watching, and I make fun of it wherever [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[15,33],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=381"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/forgetful.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}